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Entry #1

I'm a Critic.

2007-07-30 03:34:11 by Bolo
Updated

...Of you.

Why should I hate you?

Give me a good reason, and I'll add you to my periodically updated Hate List.

Note: Blog spammers will not be persecuted, even though they are Jews and / or colored people.

Current users on the list:

1. I-Bot ('My robotic sensors indicate' an alt. Update: Account absorbed by admins!)
2. Memorize (Republican apologist.)
3. LardLord (Strange guy.)
4. RINKACHICHI (Have you read his posts?)
5. Latecks (Attention whore. Richmond's finest Tranny.)
6. Piss (Asdf.)
7. cellardoor6 (He Talks. And Talks. And Talks. Is anyone listening?)
8. TornFulp (TORN. Not TOM.) Updates: 1. Account deleted. 2. Yeah, it was my alt.
9. POOPIES (From what I gather, this dude has a fetish.)
10. KemCab (I'm sure you've herd of some of his cruel exploits.)

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/* */
11. Mendou (Basks in self-proclaimed egotism.)
12. Purpin (Myspace is his best friend. Also, virgin. Also, small penis. Also, lol.)
13. FrozenSheep (Draws stylistically derivative 'flathead' artwork. Incessantly.)
14. TacoFreak (A psychologist.)
15. Sunglasses (I'm better at Photoshop, yo. But yours are still funnier than most.)
16. crazerfish50 (On November 1, ninety posts of Art Forum Spam. Also, him.)
17. Duffi (Believes that 'Your mom' jokes are the pinnacle of humor. See Below.)

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/* */
18. BlackWayne (John Wayne's illegitimate child)
19. Frank (Permabanned. Complained to almighty Tom. Account revived. Then, this.)
20. Sanity-of-Insanity (Poses for camwhore pics wearing Goofy hat. Also, fat.)
21. ilovemetal (Metal: his one true love)
22. sonicmega (Anime: his one true love.)
23. gibleto (Ass, ass, ass, ass.)
24. GayHomophobe (Insidiously disguised as a hypocrite.)
25. ZENON (Believes I should love him. I don't.)
26. Catoblepas (Registered PeTA jihadist.)
27. xXsharkxsayxhelloXx (A Jamaican.)
28. ripoffhitman (Haddaway's sole remaining fan.)
29. Demosthenez (If Tourettes syndrome is contagious, avoid him.)
30. JakeHero (Harry Potter himself couldn't overcome this nagging troll.)
31. GaiusIuliusTaberna (Is it possible to have a Roman fetish?)
32. tony4moroney (Who's Moroney, and why does Tony support him?)
33. Ronald-McDonald-LoL (Question my perfection, will you?)
34. Dante-son-of-Sparda (This is him in twenty years.)
35. JAZZA (To clue you in: Schmaltzy, Mediocre Pianist does not a tragedy make.)
36. KemCab (HURR I AM CAN BE ON HATE LIST TWICE)
37. supyohos123 (Stephen Colbert? Funny? Isn't that an oxymoron?)
38. shatteredheart (CRAWWWWLING IN MY SKINNN)
39. Peaceblossom (His soul was stolen and replaced by Linux. 'Gutsy Gibbon' lmao.)
40. Oppugnant (Death metal enthusiast. Also, no friends.)
41. greyface01 (VOET RON PUAL!!!!! HE WILL MAEK TEH GUVMINT EXPLOED!!!)
42. Spite-skater (Attn: You're a massive douche if your alias includes "skater".)
43. ngmastah (Spells like a fourth grader, draws like a fifth grader.)
44. TheRoyalEnglishman (British felinomaniac.)
45. Proteas (A mod with a personal vendetta loses objectivity.)
46. knightsofthecircle (Weeabooish anime enthusiast. See Below.)

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/* */
47. Jake (Considered banning him from posting comments. Where's the fun in that?)
48. Sarcasm (The only person who remembers my ego-stroking diversion from 2K6)
49. Ceti (In the interest of going for low blows; Him. and his sexual interests.)
50. Lorkas (OMGURMEEN)
51. k0x (Black alts stopped being funny when Dobio became a mod.)
52. DepressedStone (emo-Japanophile hybrid. Chronically Mavis-obsessed)
53. NinjaPirateMaster (Cardinal Internet sin: Pirates & Ninjas in the same sentence.)
54. TheBigLemon (He doesn't post much anymore, but I still think he's quite horrible.)
55. DragonsGrief (To paraphrase NG: Check Yo-self before you wreck Yo-self.)
56. g0t (PLEASE LET ME LICK YOUR SHOES, BOLO! I'M NOT WORTHY!)
57. Williwowza (5 page MS Paint-Parties are a positive addition to the BBS. Yup.)
58. Ecke (Revird Patron-cum-[thinly-veiled-4chan ref.] Pokémon enthusiast)
59. Kurofelis (Don't you just love those silly cats?)
60. Grammer (Demonstrated himself to be an imminent threat to human intellect)
61. ViolentAJ (Has an unrequited fetish for all thing Asian. Also, he's from Affikuh)
62. bloodman101 (Quoth he: "WTF!! THE FILESIZE IS 60MB ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")
63. Ejit (I AM NOT NOTHING. I AM FOUR PIXELS ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN)
64. danomano65 (What's that I smell? Oh, it's his fucking cunt from seven miles away.)
65. amplefied (Recently earned a Ph.D at Cock Sucking University.)
66. shaggytheclown17 (Loves Dennis Kucinich. REALLY loves Dennis Kucinich)
67. SadisticMonkey (Subservience to me won't get you anywhere in life, silly!)
68. Josh (Yeah, that's Bedn. And this is what he does in his spare time.)
69. Bolo (UNCALLED FOR UNCALLED FOR)
70. Transkar (He: The United States "fails" for attempting to elect a black president.)
71. Kagoe (1 and 2. Folks, I couldn't deliver a better punchline than that.)
72. Robotussin (Goddammit, he belongs on a 'love' list, not a hate list. Proof!)
73. SBB (Norway blows! Haha! ... Oh wait. Fuck.)
74. Darkside7000 (I FUCKING SWEAR. IF YOU EVER INSULT MY HAT AGAIN...)
75. samsam72 (Fine, whatever. Out of the kindness of my heart.)
76. thegreatmorph (YOU CAN'T MAKE A MONKEY OUTTA ME.)
77. MadCow (Long overdue. Also, I owe you one.)
78. Egoraptor (Lengthy justification to be found 129 comments down.)
79. iscrulz (What kind of a 38 year old man fucks around on Newgrounds?)
80. BonJombo (Self-Portrait. Honest to God)
81. Yghrulez (I may be on your <3 list, but I'm also on this </3 list. Hint: Mine's bettur.)
82. Tea (A shorter username than mine? Preposterous.)
83. AlexPerson (&)
84. Hybrid-of-Souls (Ironic, to choose a username rhyming with "Sack Full of Holes.")
85. LastSpartan (A Grecian)
86. JSSKFF (What ails you, my poor man? Is it perhaps a case of Common Cancer?)
87. Mizar (If you'd testified for Roe v. Wade, abortions would be allowed to age 10.)
88. LOLZILLA (What a great influence you are.)
89. ToddM (I refer you to the following numbers above: 2, 21, 40)
90. NGM-Interview (Fraud. Lambasted. Take Budd Dwyer's advice, and see below:)

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/* */
91. Niddler (His least favorite person in the world: Guess Who!)
92. Zerok (Major Participant in Forum decline. What harm, pray tell, is a poem? )

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/* */
93. Eggys (MORE CAPS LOCK PLEASE.)
94. Sawdust (How many weeaboo anime-loving lameshits before we exceed quota?)

I'm a Critic.


Comments

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LatecksLatecks

2007-07-31 00:47:27

You should hate me because:

I'm in a spam group
I'm an attention whore
I complain a lot

Bolo responds:

That's pretty good reasoning. OK, you made the list.


CatoblepasCatoblepas

2007-08-02 15:06:05

Because I made a camel bite a donkey until it was dead.

Bolo responds:

Clever attempt to disguise your secret PeTA membership. You obviously want me to believe you hate animals, when in reality, you are militantly in love with them.

I know your kind.


gibletogibleto

2007-08-02 16:12:39

well, I hate YOU, so here's the reason you should hate me: you are a discrace to society. no one on newgrounds respects, likes or even takes you seriously. you understand nothing at all about anything cool. your name sounds like a dildo that you would use. thats it.....oh and your mom has a penis, unlike you...that is all.

(Updated ) Bolo responds:

I LOVE YOU, GIGOLO.


gibletogibleto

2007-08-02 23:36:13

wow omg you love me -cries- i've never felt more welcome! (it's GIBLETO)


BlackWayneBlackWayne

2007-08-06 18:06:39

Ummm... I'm a n00b who gets CONSTANTLY banned from the BBS

(Updated ) Bolo responds:

I used to be a noob who got constantly banned from the BBS. This alone is not strong enough reasining.

Next Contestant.


BlackWayneBlackWayne

2007-08-07 12:34:43

I'm emo and bi

Bolo responds:

That's not why I hate you.


G-BangerG-Banger

2007-08-12 02:02:12

Call me when you make a "People I admire and wish I could be more like" list.


JakeJake

2007-08-18 19:06:49

You forgot Jake / Platinum, what a whiny little emo brat.

(Updated ) Bolo responds:

You make a good point, but since I haven't seen you post in six months I see little reason to add you. Run along now.


KemCabKemCab

2007-08-22 10:25:27

You should hate me.

I have an obsession with e-drama.
I love 4chan.
I love making people miserable because I'm an asshole.
I throw a hissy fit every five minutes.
I actually think that post count matters.
I have no real talent in anything but I pretend to.
I pretend to be gay in order to be a sellout on the BBS.

Bolo responds:

And you type too much.


PERVOKPERVOK

2007-08-22 16:16:27

Pff. More like, I should be giving you reasons to love me.


GigitGigit

2007-08-22 16:37:24

you shouldn't!


OnettOnett

2007-08-22 16:39:00

I'm a shit poster who post nothing but sarcastic shit thats not even possibly funny. IMO an egotist and i like it when people talk about me. I think high post count will mean some bit of respect(Same go's for levels)


ilovemetalilovemetal

2007-08-24 01:08:52

cock sucking christian bastard..hail lord lucifer


PurpinPurpin

2007-09-08 14:53:17

I love myspace.

Bolo responds:

RAARGH.


FrozenSheepFrozenSheep

2007-09-13 00:53:31

i get attention from spam.

Bolo responds:

And you draw poorly. :(


ConalConal

2007-10-02 15:36:12

Oh my god!
You hate Purpin & Kemcab too?
Welcome to the club brother.


kloneonekloneone

2007-10-04 03:28:24

hahah i hate lateckS too!


DuffiDuffi

2007-10-05 06:42:12

I laughg at cancer children.

And I occasionally laugh because of "your mom" jokes.

Bolo responds:

Laughing at Cancer? Not so terrible.

Laughing at 'Your Mom' jokes, however; that's unforgivable.


TacoFreakTacoFreak

2007-10-06 08:35:02

Pllleeez dont hate me

Bolo responds:

Reverse psychology. How clever.

I hate psychologists. >:(


GayHomophobeGayHomophobe

2007-10-07 02:39:06

What about Sanity-of-Insanity for his fatness and Frank-the-Hedgehog for being a gigantic fanboy.


ngmastahngmastah

2007-10-12 21:44:10

YAY IM NOT ON THERE!


ripoffhitmanripoffhitman

2007-10-15 01:42:28

Where's the love?

Bolo responds:

I think the question you meant to ask was, "What is love?"


tony4moroneytony4moroney

2007-10-19 08:56:39

demosthenez for passing off like a deranged obsessive-compulsive lunatic with turrets syndrome

jakehero for being a republican troll and apologist

the mason for being a soldier[?!]/ studying law

gaius lulius for being a devout supporter of giuliani and also liking romans


ripoffhitmanripoffhitman

2007-10-22 23:45:26

Haddaway, actually I do like the guitar lines in what is love, the instrumental for it in the audio portal is spectacular. I don't know any of their other songs, but eh, from what I see in the bands guitarests it's good. But whatever, it's better to be hated then not known at all am I right. Ok i'm wrong :(


Ronald-McDonald-LoLRonald-McDonald-LoL

2007-10-28 09:11:55

Sharky's link is broken.

Bolo responds:

Broken Link

I don't see no broken link.


supyohos123supyohos123

2007-11-01 21:19:59

I think Stephen Colbert's funny.

Bolo responds:

Well, shizzle my nizzle.

You must be the only one.


KemCabKemCab

2007-11-02 18:55:41

You hate me because "I think the internet is real."

wow

Bolo responds:

Oh yes. I hate you.

I hate everyone.

Perhaps I should add you again.


KemCabKemCab

2007-11-03 11:04:58

I almost forgot I asked you to put me on.

Bolo responds:

Oh teh noes.


shatteredheartshatteredheart

2007-11-03 14:39:30

I wonder what you're like in real life.

Bolo responds:

HEY I WONDER SOMETIMES TOO ROFL


PurpinPurpin

2007-11-04 23:22:47

"Oh my god!
You hate Purpin & Kemcab too?
Welcome to the club brother."

That made me lol.

Bolo responds:

Your sex life makes me lol.


PurpinPurpin

2007-11-05 15:52:06

It's not funny to slay 10-13 girls poons a day.

Bolo responds:

Do you lubricate those spoons before you have sex with them?


PurpinPurpin

2007-11-05 20:42:34

Of course, how else would I fit inside them?

Bolo responds:

You inside them?

I thought it was the other way around.


OppugnantOppugnant

2007-11-07 08:02:32

I listen to Death Metal.


BritkidBritkid

2007-11-07 17:58:08

You think of a good reason!

After all, it's your opinion.


PurpinPurpin

2007-11-08 19:32:27

You can't fit inside a spoon? lol, big dick!


ngmastahngmastah

2007-11-08 21:49:27

Im a bad speller.


shatteredheartshatteredheart

2007-11-10 14:19:27

Reasoning as to why I asked. Is because you seem to be a bit snobby and act like you're better than everyone. Who's to say you're perfect besides yourself?


SpiteSpite

2007-11-12 23:30:43

Well...whatever you do, don't put me on there.
>_>
<_<


KnightsKnights

2007-11-18 00:13:13

Hate me for the sake of haters everywhere.


gibletogibleto

2007-11-18 20:29:50

Wait...why am I on the list, again?

Bolo responds:

Because of Ass.


CetiCeti

2007-11-20 19:03:16

Critique me please. I've done some stupid shit in my time.


JakeJake

2007-11-22 19:48:59

You waste so much hate on these random internet users whom you've never seen before and never will see.

It's quite sad, really.

Bolo responds:

You waste a lot of time reading this userpage on a regular basis, especially considering the fact that you dislike me.

Jesus Christ, if you take even half of what I wrote up there seriously, you've got issues. :\


LorkasLorkas

2007-11-23 15:01:00

Why am I not in the list? I mean seriously, I spam/troll alot. 27% of my posts are spam, 43% of my posts are trolling and only 30% of my posts are normal.


JakeJake

2007-11-24 13:34:54

Hahaha, I feel so honored! :D


SpiteSpite

2007-11-26 02:06:32

The rumors are true...I am a massive douche
XD


SarcasmSarcasm

2007-11-27 23:12:13

I do not matter enough for the list.

A shame, really. :|


DepressedStoneDepressedStone

2007-12-06 01:12:11

Can I be on the list? I'm an unfunny emo faggot who pretends to be a girl.


WilliWowzaWilliWowza

2007-12-07 05:58:07

This is just a poorly disguised luff list.


NinjaPirateMasterNinjaPirateMaster

2007-12-08 01:02:21

I think Ninjas and Pirates should come together in harmony.


NinjaPirateMasterNinjaPirateMaster

2007-12-08 01:06:21

Did I mention Kanye West is gay?

Bolo responds:

You can be his black Kate Moss, tonight.